Heckin’ Pandemic!

Courtesy of COVID-19, we are in a constant state of learning and adapting to new information. It’s safe to say that not much is going according to plan at the moment. Given how the days just mesh into each other, if somebody asks me what day it is, I tend to respond with “Blursday…” 🤷🏻‍♀️

In this constant state of flux, most of us are attempting to prioritize needs over wants. Complete the work project, over binge-watching a television series. Pay rent, over buying a giant flat screen television. Shop for necessary grocery items, over traipsing all over town for some exotic ingredients. Not everyone has the same scale for needs and wants, but everyone is hopefully aware of an ongoing pandemic.

However, it appears that awareness of a global pandemic seems to have missed those who are still ranting about the “hustle,” and how we need to capitalize on the pandemic. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’ve tried to be patient with people, and treat them with kindness, but it’s hard to do that sometimes. Especially when it’s for a non-essential item, and they decide to unleash a torrent of complaining and mansplaining, because you’re not doing it the way they would, or to their exacting standards.

The work will get done, but don’t lay into someone because they decided to get their ducks in a row in order of quack-quack jokes rather than size! We need to cut each other some slack, because we’re all not only dealing with a heckin’ pandemic, but also its painful aftermath and the accompanying mental weariness. Treat each other with kindness and patience — you never know what kind of battles people are fighting right now.

Almost everybody is dealing with some degree of stress, whether it’s related to physical health, mental health, emotional wellbeing, financial impact, family issues, or all of the above. Many of these people are putting on, or having to put on a brave front, for their loved ones or themselves, all while their whole worlds are collapsing around them. So, if somebody greets you with a smile, that doesn’t mean they’re okay. It doesn’t give you permission to double down on their already existing mountain of stress. People’s time and emotional bandwidth are limited and precious, and especially if it’s a non-essential item, just back off instead of adding to their to-do list. Because they may very well not be okay.

If somebody seems okay, ask them how are they doing, and then listen. That may be the kindest thing you could do.

Image by Caleb Gregory

The High Heels of Empathy

I recently found myself in a conversation with someone who was adamant about the need to find new solutions to existing problems, but was far from empathetic about the people around him.  For every issue, he expressed his view on the problem, but was not concerned about how other people in his team felt.  He kept harping on about his proposed solution, but was dismissive about how his solution would negatively impact the other team members, and add to their already overwhelming workload.  He also expressed disdain for team members who were putting in extra hours trying to solve the current challenges, but were struggling; his view was if it didn’t solve the problem, it was because they weren’t showing enough initiative.  Given that scenario, it was no surprise that there was disengagement from work, burnout within the team, and the team’s problems just kept getting worse.

That led me to wonder whether there is room for innovation in an environment that silences the dissenting voices without listening to them; that does not value the extra efforts of its team members; and that does not display empathy for its own people, let alone its users.

Empathy is not only an essential component of business (and being a good human being), it is also one of the fundamental building blocks of the Design Thinking process, because you need to understand the people for whom you are designing.  You need to put yourself in their shoes, and truly understand their experiences, their situations, and their emotions. 

While they may share the same root of the Greek word pathos (which means feelings, emotions, or passion), it is important to differentiate between Sympathy and Empathy, as you embrace the Design Thinking process.  Sympathy is more reactive, in that it shows concern for another person, which may involve projecting feelings of detached pity and sorrow.  Empathy is more proactive, in that it seeks to understand what other people are experiencing and feel what they are feeling, with a view to do something to help them. 

While some may be naturally empathetic, Empathy is not a secret skill but an inclination, and we can take certain steps to improve it and turn it into a natural disposition. 

1. Slip on the high heels:  While the “stepping into the other person’s shoes” analogy may have run its course, humor me for a moment, and imagine that, for your entire life, you’ve only worn flip-flops.  Now, pick up a pair of high heels, slip them on, and try to stand up.  All of a sudden, you feel taller, but you also feel like you’re teetering on those stilettos.  Your jeans suddenly got dressier, but your toes feel a little squashed.  This may just be a literal change of footwear, but figuratively “stepping into another person’s shoes” gives you an idea of What other people see, say, and do.
2. Dig a little deeper:  Once you’re in the other pair of shoes, dig a little deeper to learn about that other person’s experience.  What is it like to walk in those pair of high heels?  Does the precarious balancing on skinny stilettos make it hard to walk even a few meters?  Try to learn about the other person, not just by observation, but by subtle, open-ended questions to encourage them to open up.  Digging involves trying to better understand how people feel, get context for the factors that affect their behavior, and learning more about the How of what other people see, say, and do.
3. Be Objective:  For many people, it’s not easy opening up about themselves, and they may not be completely honest – not as a conscious effort to deceive someone else, but rather as an unconscious effort to protect themselves.  They say they really love those high heels, but do they kick them off at the first opportunity?  You need to be cognizant of people’s actions and behaviors, and whether they align with their words.  Being objective involves being attentive to the differences in people’s behaviors, and thinking about the underlying authenticity and Why of what other people see, say, and do.
4. Acknowledge:  Empathy is a proactive state, which means that not only do you need to be proactive about understanding people and their feelings, you also need to be proactive about acknowledging that to the other person.  That doesn’t mean going up to the person and saying, “I empathize with you” (that would be creepy!).  It means acknowledging to the person that you understand them, their feelings, or their experiences.  For instance, if the other person has been walking in high heels for 20 minutes straight, ask them if they’d like to stop for a few minutes and rest their feet.  Or if they kick off their high heels and grumble about a shoe bite or blister, offer them a cushioned Band-Aid.  These are fairly simplistic examples, but the underlying principle of empathy is applicable across the board.  Be proactive about seeking to understand what other people are experiencing, and feeling what they are feeling, with a proactive view to acknowledge their experiences, and if applicable, do something to help them.

While slipping on the high heels, digging a little deeper, being objective, and acknowledging might help you become a little more empathetic, it is important to be aware of people’s receptiveness to external engagement.  While Empathy is a critical skill, it is not charging in with a bulldozer, but rather a diplomatic approach with a delicate touch.  Trying to understand other people and their experiences also involves trying to understand whether they would be receptive to an empathetic response.  Sometimes, the most empathetic response could be not engaging with the other person, and instead giving them their space.  People are different, and cultivating the essential skill of Empathy helps you become more perceptive about other people and how to best respond to them.

To Kill a Mockingbird’s Atticus Finch may have captured the essence of Empathy best when he said, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view – until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”  

Author’s Note:  I am not anti-high heels, and I think they are rather pretty.  I just hope you demonstrate some empathy for me as I kick off those high heels, and slip into some comfy sneakers instead!

Design Thinking Lessons from ‘The Godfather’

Until a few days ago, I had never seen this trilogy of the trials and triumphs of the Corleone family.  The mobster genre of film isn’t really my cup of tea, but after much prodding, I decided to bite the bullet (pun unintended!), and watch ‘The Godfather’ series.  I was intrigued by the first part, fascinated by the second part, befuddled by the third part, and while I wish I could have gotten my last three hours back, I realized there were a couple of interesting lessons hiding in the shadows of “The Godfather.” 

While I wouldn’t advocate the violent approach taken in the series, some elements are strangely applicable to Design Thinking.  Now before you smother me with Post-Its (which might be preferable to sleeping with the fishes!), I’m of the opinion that you can learn from pretty much any situation (including movie trilogies), so, have a chuckle with these tongue-in-cheek insights :)

Focus on the cannoli
“Leave the gun, take the cannoli.”
Linus Pauling said, “The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas.”  While that approach does work with idea generation, you can get bogged down with more information than you need, or have more ideas than are currently viable.  It’s essential to discern the really important insights, discard the nonessential pieces, and then charge ahead with what’s really critical to your project.

Be open to compromise
“I hoped we could come here and reason together.  And, as a reasonable man, I’m willing to do whatever’s necessary to find a peaceful solution to these problems.”
However much you try, it’s going to be very hard to make everyone happy, particularly in situations where multiple stakeholders are involved.  But if you go in with an open mind, and are amenable to different approaches and seeing things from other people’s perspectives, you might arrive at a solution that meets everyone’s requirements.

Be empathetic, but not too emotional
“Never hate your enemies – it affects your judgement.”
This could be a point of contention.  Empathy – the ability to put yourself in other people’s shoes, and see things from their perspective – is one of the cornerstones of Design Thinking, and its user-centered approach to problem solving.  While you have to maintain a sense of empathy for your users, it’s important not to get too emotional, at the risk of drowning out reason.  Don’t abandon emotion and feeling, but ensure that your ideas and insights are based on rational judgement, particularly for those folks who may not be as passionate as you.

Be comfortable with chaos
“Papa’s all alone. I won’t panic.”
There’s a quote that always makes me chuckle in the midst of chaos, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”  It’s important to plan and anticipate problems before they happen, but even the best laid plans can fall by the wayside.  You have to be comfortable with chaos, otherwise the smallest spanner in the works is going to send you off course.  Take a deep breath, have a chuckle, embrace the chaos, and you’ll be in a better frame of mind to get back on track.

Good enough can be perfect
“Put your hand in your pocket, like you have a gun. You’ll be alright.”
In an ideal world, everything would go according to plan, and you would have all the time you need.  However, things can quite often go off course, and it becomes necessary to adapt to sometimes manic circumstances.  And while it’s important to strive for perfection, be willing to make do with what’s available, to meet the need at hand.  It echoes one of the key elements of prototyping – it doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs to be good enough to meet the need at hand, and help you move ahead.

When I sat down to watch ‘The Godfather’ series, I thought I would finally understand what all those iconic quotes meant – although I still think “Take the cannoli” is focused on the joys of dessert!  My mind just couldn’t help drawing parallels with Design Thinking – I guess you’re always looking for what you’re most passionate about :)